


The First Cut is the Deepest

by harryiswanking (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sadness, Suicide, and they talked, depressed! harry, harry became depressed again, i cried, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis used harry, so sorry about the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:29:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/harryiswanking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's depressed and Louis caused it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Cut is the Deepest

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Sheryl Crow's song 
> 
>  
> 
> (Please prepare your tissues. This shot is depressing, so please don’t read it if it will make you sad and remember the bad things you don’t want to remember. I love you so much and please please stay strong, I’m glad you exist and you deserve every ray of sunshine)

**12 days, 16 hours and 4 seconds, that’s how long he left me.**

 

 

“Harry?” I heard someone call behind me, a familiar voice that used to give me life, but now, he kills me.

 

His small footsteps echoed against the school hallway, walking towards me.

 

I’m in a part of the school where no one comes, an abandoned place, just like me. It’s peaceful here, like the way I wanted to die. Peaceful and with no pain.

 

Just let my problems be done.

 

I feel so fucked up; crying over someone I love (and will always love) that actually never loved me back. I thought we had something special, but no, it was just one of his games, making me fall in love, hard, but then he’ll leave me, just like all the boys and girls he hooked up and used.

 

I didn’t know I spaced out while crying; his voice dragged me back to reality.

 

“Love, are you okay?” He asked me softly. His voice, his smell, his heat beside me, it makes me cry. All the memories flashed back.

 

_“Harry, I’ll never leave you” He added with a laugh._

 

_“I love you” He whispered as he slowly leaned and closed the space between us._

 

_“I’m here” He said as I gave my virginity to him._

 

“Why. Are. You. Here” I asked with my teeth clenched, so hard I feel it will be broken in a few seconds. A tear slipped out again, I silently prayed Please let me die, please.

 

“I don’t know” His voice broke, his eyes went watery and he grabbed me by my wrist, his fingers touching my scars.

 

Another memory of me and him flashed

 

_“I don’t love you” He said while laughing sarcastically._

 

_I opened my mouth to say something, but I can’t. It hurts. It hurts so badly._

 

_“I just wanted to ruin that pretty hole of yours, nothing special” He smirked and tears formed into my brim, threatening to spill anytime._

 

_“I-I thought...” I can’t finish it, I just can’t_

 

_“’Thought’ Exactly Harry, this is nothing, me, you, nothing” His eyes filled with hate_

 

_“How dare you, Lou” I finally said, turning around to run. I was so stupid, he’s a player, I fell for him, and he used me._

 

_My legs carried me to the parking lot, immediately went to the car and started it, I want to go home, visit my long forgotten friend, I totally forgot about that because of Louis, but now, he made me remember I still have a friend._

 

_Minutes passed, and I opened my flat door, locking it. I went straight to my bedroom, shuffling and looking for that stress reliever. I opened my cabinet and finally saw it. It’s under one of my jeans._

 

_I grabbed it and stared at the cool metal. The sharpness is still there, I need it._

 

_I closed my eyes and thought about what Louis said._

 

_“I don’t love you” I finally positioned the blade on my wrist, pressing it deep, and slashed it against my older scars, adding a new and a deep one._

 

_“I’m here” His voice repeated on my head, echoing._

 

_Bullshit._

 

_I slashed and press the blade against my skin, the problems seemed to fade away. Blood was dripping, staining my sheets._

 

_“I just wanted to ruin that pretty hole of yours, nothing special” and with that, the 20th cut was formed, and I stopped, looking at my fucked up arm._

 

 

“Harry…” his voice quivered. “Y-you promised, you promised me you’ll stop” His fingers brushing my scars, his tears spilling too.

“’I’m here’ ‘I’ll never leave you’ Oh? Remember when you promised you’ll never leave me? Exactly.” I yanked my arm back, but he didn’t bulge, instead, he leaned in and lightly pressed his lips into my scars, kissing softly and saying “I’m so sorry” as his tears flowed out. But I remained still.

 

“What can sorry even do, Lou? Huh?” I yanked it more forcefully now, his grip loosing.

 

“I’m so sorry” He cried and repeated that phrase over and over again

 

“Listen to me. You, you told me you’ll never leave me! You told me you’ll be always here, never leaving, but what happened?! What happened huh?! YOU FUCKING SAID YOU USED ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL. But guess what?! YOU JUST WANTED TO USE ME FOR SEX. FOR THAT BULLSHITTY BET WITH YOUR FRIENDS.” I balled my hands into fists and stood up.

 

 

“Please, please let me explain” He grabbed my arm and I flinched.

 

 

“One minute. One minute, Louis. Tell me everything. Tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me why you leaved me at the time I needed you most. ” Tears threatened to fall again, but I’m not going to cry.

 

 

“I love you harry, I really do, please, please believe me. My friends threatened to hurt you if I can’t say that. I just can’t let them do that to you. I know this is so fucked up, and I know there’s no chance you could forgive me, but I just wanted to say that I love you so much, Harry Styles, you’re the reason why I always smile when I hear’ Isn’t She Lovely’, the way you change the she into he, I swear to God I will always love that” He stopped to breathe, I just stared at him, dumbfounded.

 

He pleaded with his eyes and started again. “Please take me back, please forgive me. The past few weeks were hell without you beside me. I’ll always love you, even your scars. The way you stayed strong for me, I fell in love more, if that’s even possible. All those ‘I love you’s’ I said, it’s true. Please H, please, don’t go. When I told you those things, it was so hard, I feel like my heart’s going to be ripped” He pressed my arm against his forehead as he sobbed loudly; I crouched down, reaching his level. Our eyes met, his tears still flowing down.

 

“I don’t care if they hurt me, when you said that, my whole world seemed to vanish. All colours seemed to fade. I…” My voice flattered at the last, no matter how hurt I was, I still love him, so damn much it hurts

 

 

“You, what, Harry?” He whispered

 

 

“No matter what you said, I tried to forget you, but, Jesus, I just can’t. It’s weird. I wanted to die, I just want to be peaceful and forget everything, forget you, Lou. I can’t. Every part of me seems to cling to you, I still love you Louis. I will always will” He leaned in, and he closed his eyes. He let his tears fall down now

 

 

“Harry, I love you, so much more, I’m really sorry. Can we start again?” His warm breath fanned my face

 

Should I or should I not?

 

 

I can’t leave without him, I know the feeling’s mutual too. So, why not?

 

“What if you’ll hurt me again?” I whimpered.

 

“I’ll never hurt you” He lightly smiled

 

“Promise?” I raised my hand waiting for him to answer.

 

“Promise” He linked his hands into mine, kissing my lips lightly.

 

_They say when you love someone; you’ll never let them go. No matter how bad they hurt you, your love will still stay._

 

_Life is about making hard choices, so when someone will come to your life, and they’re there to make your life easy, never let them go_

**Author's Note:**

> i was sad that time and nothing's really fine, i love you all


End file.
